This story is from January 18, 2011

Top sex mistakes men make

MONIKA RAWAL / Updated: Jun 23, 2011, 14:01 IST

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Being sexually more active, men can go wrong at times and thus end up killing sexual passion...

When it comes to being sexually active, it��s undoubtedly ��men�� who are bitten by the sex bug and flaunt a higher sex drive as compared to their female counterparts.
Be it being more active while performing in bed, taking charge during a romp or arousing their lady love for a gratifying act �� men rule the roost ubiquitously. But they too can go wrong at times and thus end up killing sexual passion.
Dr. Kanika Vohra, a psychologist states, ��It��s an established fact that most men have sex running in their heads through the day and this makes them so charged up that they just can��t wait but perform wildly at night. Often, they forget that the female partner might have something else on her mind and when such circumstances occur, there are chances that their sexual relationship gets adversely affected.��
Dr. Ratan Mehrotra, a sex therapist supports, ��There are several sex mistakes that a couple can indulge in during sex, but for men it��s more frequent because they try to do too much in too little time. Expecting your wife to act like a porn star, or expressing your not-so-pleasing fantasies may end up disturbing the other partner so much that it turns out to be a sex blunder. With a desire to try out endless sexual acts in bed, it��s mostly their sexual desires that are the main reason for sexual goof-ups. It��s advised that one should act sensibly in bed and let things flow in a proper way. Always trying to rush ahead and reach climax might not bring you the desired sexual pleasure.��

Here are some recurring sex mistakes that men make during an intimate session. So the next time you gear up for a steamy sex session, make sure you keep at bay with these sex-slips...
Rushing towards climax: Travelling the passage is more fun and enjoyable rather than merely reaching the final destination and the same holds true for ��sex��. But men seem to be forgetting this completely, as they often run after climaxing moments and pay lesser attention to other acts that can add to the sexual pleasure. Carrying an expression that it��s only the peak moments you are waiting for might makes sex appear like a routine act and not one done for ecstasy.

Imposing sexual fantasises: Agreed that sexual desires are to be shared and fulfilled appropriately, but men, though unintentionally, end up forcing it sometimes upon the female partner. Men should make it a point to express their sexual fantasies and then let the passion be built up gradually, which allows the female partner to make an effort to perform those desires willingly. Imposition of any sort will lead to turning off the other partner and thus marring the entire mood.
Sidelining foreplay acts: Making love to a fully aroused partner not only enhances performance, but also brings sensuous pleasure. Alas, most men don��t seem to be following this sex-mantra much, as they do not take foreplay acts seriously. Be it out of ignorance or keenness to simply jump into the bed for a sex romp, men often disappoint their female lovers by not performing the arousal acts in the desired way and hence leaving them partially stimulated.
Acting too wild and messy: It��s nice to be a bit naughty and dirty in bed. But remember not to go overboard with your wild acts, as it may irk your partner. Men repeatedly get harsh and wild in their sexual gestures and hence many a times do not make up for a pleasurable sex session. At such times, their female counterpart feels that she is merely a sex object and the main purpose of intimacy gets completely lost.
Seeing, treating her as a porn star: Men often consider their female partners as wild sex-kittens, which may not be a great thought to have in your mind as you slip between the sheets. Expecting her to behave like a porn star or anticipating that she will do everything that you have seen in a porn flick, often makes her feel uncomfortable. It��s important to understand that sex is to be enjoyed in the most natural way that is pleasing to the other partner as well. Let the porn fantasy stay out of your bedroom and enjoy the passionate moments for some real fun.
Disrespecting her comfort zone: Each partner possesses a certain comfort zone while having sex and it��s mandatory for the other partner to respect those by all means. Be it an act of undressing or trying out a kinky sexual position or participating in oral pleasure, men tend to commit a mistake of not respecting a woman��s comfort zone. Many men simply expect their female partners to do just about everything in bed that pleases him and in the process; he by and large ruptures the sexual bliss.
Not giving her the desired orgasm: It��s not good for a woman to expect the man to take the full responsibility for her orgasm, but at the same time it��s no less than a gaffe for men who can��t satisfy their female partner just because they are over and out after the final act. Quite often during an intimate session, men presume that as soon as they ejaculate, their female partner would have also finished by then, which is just not fair. It might be the case that the woman is seeking more pleasure, but unfortunately men tend to act selfish and just switch off sex once they have climaxed.
Discussing the performance too much: Discussing and giving feedback about your partner��s bedroom performance can be a good practice as long as they are okay with it. But men have a tendency of talking about each sexual move they make and continuously asking their female partner about how are they feeling. It��s not really a great idea to let this sex commentary go on for too long, as women do not feel too comfortable being questioned during sex.
monika.rawal@indiatimes.co.in

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